Friday, November 21, 2008

BEEFCAKES!!!!

It's been kind of a boring and frustrating week of job hunting so I haven't written anything. I have had some very interesting leads mainly from recruiters who have contacted me saying that they help ex-military folks find jobs for free! Anyway, more to come if when I choose a good college job.
So it was another day at Joe's today. I can use my computer there just as well as at Mom and Dad's, so I spend lots of time there in 24 or 48 hour stretches. This time I brought my new Winchester 30-30 (thanks, Dad) so that I could test it out on the plentiful rabbits out at Joe's farm. Joe told me that they come out by the driveway at dusk and that if I sit by the window facing the driveway, I should be able to wax a bunny from the comfort of a their heated home. Sure enough, just after the Sun (Are you s'posed to capitalize Sun? I think our planet's source of energy and warmth deserves it) had set, out pops little Peter Cottontail from the bushes near the driveway. At this point in the story, I feel I should give a little background info in case your'e not a hunting/gun person. A 30-30 is a hunting rifle with bullets about 2.5 inches long and half an inch thick. It's normally used for deer, not rabbits. So when I hit the rabbit, I was kind of surprised that was able to limp back into the bushes. We went to check it out and get the carcass (bunnies = dog and cat food at Joe's). When we got to the scene of the crime, I saw a little tuft of white fluff about four feet away from where I had shot it. No way, I thought. But sure enough, I had cleanly shot that bunnies cotton tail namesake right off.
Of course, the rest of it's hind end was nowhere to be found, so we euthanized it and by then, one of the tiny cute little kittens had found us. Joe picked the kitten and dropped it next to the rabbit. It literally hadn't hit the ground with its paws yet and was already buried ears deep in that bunny and making crazy little growling sounds that fluffy, sweet kittens shouldn't be able to make. It was pretty gruesome, but Joe's kids were very mature about the whole thing. I thought it would bring at least a few tears to the girls. but here's what I learned from this gritty display of Nature's brutality: Kittens are unbelievably cute even with a Bugs Bunny flavored Kool-Aid smile.
Anyway, time for dinner! Everyone washed up and then Joe and I realized that Jessica was still gone at the store. Joe isn't into cooking and even though I am, I don't know my way around their kitchen very well, so we decided on pancakes. Halfway through, I found some ground beef in the fridge. Burgers and pancakes struck me as a very odd combination and I'm a man intrigued by all things odd. So we decided to try mixing the ground beef in the pancake batter(after making some normal pancakes for the kids). The result... BEEFCAKES! They just tasted like pancakes, but greasier. I don't recommend it, but not because it tastes bad, but because it's just too silly.
Pink batter.... Hey, at least it's not yellow snow ;-)
The finished product: the unholy bastard child of breakfast and lunch served for dinner. Please do not attempt to recreate this abomination. It has been destroyed for the good of all mankind. TTFN.

4 comments:

Nancy Sabina said...

Ewwwwwwwwwww! And I mean about the beefcakes. That's way grosser than the cat-eating-bunny.

Nancy Sabina said...

Wait... is that "the cat-eating-bunny story" or a bunny-eating-cat? Well. You know what I mean.

Mary Elizabeth Liberty said...

wow, ,that is nasty. But well written!

angela michelle said...

unholy bastard child indeed. josh, you gotta help joe in the kitchen!!!